Well I have to say a big SORRY! That it has taken me so long to post a new entry. I'm not even sure if people read this, so I guess I could be talking to myself! disclaimer- if you are reading this- this post may get lengthy! Lots to update!
Anyway- some updates!
Thomas is still at Stream working for Apple, and I am still at the Center for Siouxland. Something recent- Thomas now works M-F 8-5, so we have a 'normal' family schedule!! (he was working 4 10 hour day from 9a-8p)
Graceyn is changing every day! She is 18lb 6oz and 30.5 inches tall, and is now about 15.5 months old. Time is sure flying! She was recently hospitalized for a day with pneumonia and RSV, but has recovered well and is back to her usual perky self! She is such a smart kid! She knows 40+ signs and says several words. She adores her Baby Signing Time DVD's and requests to watch them frequently! It has been such a help, because she doesn't get frustrated when she wants something and we don't understand. She can usually sign it ot us if she is unable to speak the words! I think that is why so far we've been almost 'melt down' free!
She loves playing with her dolls and riding on her cars! She is a very busy little lady!
Another update about us- Yesterday I went with a friend to Sioux Falls to meet a Nurse Midwife there. I wanted to get more information about how things could go for our next child. Let me first be clear I am NOT pregnant, and we are not TRYING to get pregnant right now. I don't want any rumors started or strange comments to come in :) anyway, My friend and I both want to have a VBAC with our next kids. For those who do not know what that means, it is vaginal birth after ceserian. With Graceyn I had a csection because I was wrongly induced at 36 weeks, which lead to an impatient dr. and a csection. It was a terrible experience not seeing my baby for such a long time after having her, and to have to be strapped to a table as well. I also would like to be able to care for the baby and not rely on my husband (bless his heart!) and nurses to do everything while I am stuck in bed for days. So I am opting to try for a VBAC, which is very safe, and actually recommended to try.
ANYWAY! So we met with the midwife, and she was incredible. Most people probably won't understand, and I get that, but at least have an open mind and be respectful of my wishes. She is very good at what she does, she has worked at the Avera Women's Center for 13 years. She works side by side with the 10 OB's as well as one other midwife. I will only be seeing the two midwives, and I will not be seen by an OB unless surgery is 100% absolutely needed. Some differences with using a midwife vs. an ob for a VBAC are shown in the numbers. The success rate for VBAC with the midwives is 80%. The success rate for a VBAC with the OB's is 15%. that is a massive difference. The reason? Midwives believe in waiting, letting a woman's body do what it was meant to do. They try to not use interventions unless they are really needed. Nothing is done without a good explaination, and, ultimately it is still our choice. For example, I will be allowed to use the whirlpool while in labor, to walk, get out of bed, sit in a chair, on the birthing ball, do what I want. I will be allowed to drink water/juice and not just be handed ice chips. I will be able to push and labor in any position that I feel comfortable with, not necessarily on flat on my back. All of these things are important to me. They try to do things as intervention free as you want, but if I wanted any pain management I could also have that (ie- epidural, demerol, etc.) I plan however to not use those, and to try to use hypnobirthing. Most of you will now say I'm insane, which is fine, go ahead. I haven't quite got myself convinced yet either... hypnobirthing is just a deep relaxation technique that you learn and practice to work with your body during contractions. Even the hospital nurses there at Avera are trained in hypnobirthing and are supportive of it! They are actually possibly going to start a class up there! So back to the midwife- She was great, she talked with us like friends, not like she was there to just say what we wanted to hear and get us on our way so she could be paid. She spend TWO hours with us! She answered every question I could think of... and she went through every page of my big binder of hospital and dr. records and concurred that I was in fact induced for no medical reason at all. She actually suggested I maybe get a legal opinion.
So after that appointment we went to dinner at Old Chicago, then back to the Hospital for a tour of the women's center. It was beautiful! It is nearly brand new. It has a dad's den wtih leather chairs and a huge tv for them to relax if needed and it has a kids play area. There is a full service kitchen only for the mom/dads so you dont have to order from the cafeteria- its set up buffet style so you can go get whatever. They had waffle makers, slushies, soft serve ice cream machine, salad bar, and much more :) it was nice. They also have amazing rooms. Huge whirlpool tubs, full size beds, so if dad wants he can sleep with mom. Pull out couches, extra chairs for family, large flat screen tv's with movies/games, and the list goes on. It's just beautiful.
A little story- we were waiting outside labor and delivery for the tour and there was a family waiting for someone to have a baby- a little girl with blonde hair about 3-4 years old with her ' big sister ' shirt on was running around anxiously and the Grandparents were all there. Well the dad came out to announce that it was a girl and just seeing the family get excited, and the little girl was so cute! it has us both tearing up :) something we never got to experience because of the situation. Our families saw Graceyn in the nursery and watched her a while, even got to take pictures before I saw her (more then the 2 seconds before they took her away) or held her. So I am looking forward to hopefully a little bit of alone time before we have visitors.
I want to say again, I am NOT pregnant, and we are NOT trying! Just planning ahead because the way we were treated is still fresh with us, and it's taking a long time to work past it. Making a plan and seeing other options yesterday has me feeling so much better about our future. Knowing that they are there to help us do what we were meant to do, and to support us, even if it takes days.... and not to be wanting to induce/do a csection just so it is faster and they make more money, that is what is important. The fact that the midwives CARE personally about us. They will remember me when I go back, I have no doubt in my mind... my ob never knew my name, he always had to look at the chart to see what it was... even after 10+ appointments he didn't know my name. Even after he had his hands elbow deep inside my body, and came to speak to me later that day, he did not know my name. That is just arrogant and impersonal. I see hundreds of people a week, sometimes only for a few minutes, but I still remember their names usually, especially the people I see more then once!
Alright, this has gotten very long, and rambling... Thanks for stopping by, and again, I don't expect you to understand everything, but support is all I'm asking. No negative comments please.
I will update as much as possible, and whenever we do decide the time is right for another child, I plan to document the pregnancy and labor/delivery with this blog so that I can have it printed into a 'blog book' as a keepsake. So be forewarned that if you don't want details to check before reading! I will put a disclaimer if there is sensitive info in it! :)
Have a fabulous night, and please stay warm! It is all of 0* right now here!
